hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
