Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
