The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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