First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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