i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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