Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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