who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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