i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
