please come you make the beer taste better
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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