haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
