I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize