We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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