you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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