I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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