at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
