Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
