so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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