Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ttyl tear gas
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
