wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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