Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
