end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize