Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
