Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
