Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
