One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
