so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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