tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
