garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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