how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
