mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't deserve a penis
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
don't judge my taste in strippers
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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