Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize