i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
