hotel room ftw
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
