it wasn't lemon gatorade
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
