I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
