we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
