belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
