I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
