After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
