party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
