what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
