can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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