Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want to make a zoo with you.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
