so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
