TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
