I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize