After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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