The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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