Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
