sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
