NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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