yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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