no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize