i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
