how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
