Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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