Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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