the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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