is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
