So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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