i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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